February 2012
2 posts
January 2012
4 posts
November 2011
1 post
It Just Doesn't Make Sense
You know what I don’t get? Peep toe boots. If it’s cold enough to wear boots, I don’t want my toes peeping out. If it’s warm enough for my toes to peep out, I can wear peep toe pumps or some other non-boot. It just looks weird to me. The whole foot and ankle is covered up and then the toes are sticking out?? No. It’s wrong and I won’t stand for it.
October 2011
1 post
LRD?
Me: I can't decide if I want to drop my middle name, my maiden name, or have 4 names.
Jeff: I like Leslie Ruth Duncan.
Me: But then my initials will be "LaRD"
Jeff: Just don't get fat. It'll be a good incentive. 'I can't get fat because then my initials won't be funny anymore.'
September 2011
1 post
I can't wait to have 100 more conversations about...
My grandmother: So what church are you going to get married in?
Me (not really wanting to broach this subject): Uhh... I don't know... we haven't talked about where we're doing it yet.
My grandmother: But what denomination of church would you get married in?
Me: I don't know that it's going to be in a church...
My grandmother: You don't know what kind of church?
Me: No... I don't think it's going to be in a church.
My grandmother: Well where would it be??
Me: I was thinking on the beach.
My grandmother: Where??
Me: On the BEACH.
My grandmother: Ohh... nnnoooooo.... you want to get married in a church.
May 2011
1 post
Steel Magnolias... viewing 2836
'Ouisa: He was gonna fire a gun at me!
M'Lynn: They're blanks! Drum would never point a gun at a lady.
'Ouisa: He's a real gentleman. I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it.
April 2011
8 posts
Parenting Lessons from 16 and Pregnant
I was watching “16 and Pregnant” recently and this was the exchange between a pregnant 16 year old and her mother (I’m paraphrasing):
Mother: I’m too soft, I let you get away with too much.
Pregnant 16 Year Old: I like the way you are, you’re like my friend. All the other girls, they hate their mothers.
Mother: But their daughters aren’t pregnant.
Exactly....
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you...”
– Mark Twain
February 2011
1 post
September 2010
2 posts
Hi Tumblr. Sorry I kinda abandoned you for a while...
February 2010
6 posts
“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am...”
– Oscar Wilde
Can Sarah Palin just go away?
Kthxbye.
November 2009
7 posts
One of my favorite Sex and the City conversations:
Samantha: What do you do?
Garth: I'm a dildo model.
Samantha: (almost spits out her drink) You wouldn't tease a girl, would you?
Garth: No, I swear! I'm the number two selling model in America. I'm number one in Canada. My dick's bigger in Canada.
Samantha: Gotta love that metric system.
October 2009
20 posts
I suck at cooking. I suck more at baking.
It’s ironic because they say baking is harder than cooking, yet I always have more motivation to bake brownies and cookies than I do to make myself a delicious dinner. Things I cook just never come out as good as if someone else (or a restaurant) makes it. Anyway, I tried to make cookies the other night, after a few glasses of wine. I’ve made chocolate chip cookies before, I mean who...
2 tags
3 tags
from 30 Rock, the funniest show on Television:
Liz Lemon: Why are you wearing a tux?
Jack Donaghy: It's after 6 o'clock, Lemon. What am I, a farmer?